Retired Waif

I’ve missed you. I’ve stayed well away from you for a good long time, hiding inside this over-sized wife-and-mother costume like a child tucked into a very small cupboard listening to the noises the house makes as it settles.  I’ve come up with roles for me and for you, I’ve listened to you talk and fit my own public face around yours.  I’ve been your translator and poison-taster when I needed my own, out in the world when you wander off and leave me to deal with the things I married you to avoid.  During this time, I have learned many, many things. I was able to forget the exile because nobody else could even have said it existed.  There was a room in my grandparents house that everybody else said I was making up, a room that hurt to be in and was shiny.  Naturally, it never occured to anyone to put two and two together and realize that I was crawling into the roof with the insulation… but I digress.  You’ve got your own little room lined with razor blades, and when you put me out of it and locked the door I wasn’t really the type to sit quietly  Meanwhile, no one else has the slightest idea what the fuck I’m talking about, but that’s marriage for you.   

My infusion was postponed and I was deep in symptom-fatigue-land, but the kids had fun.  My husband and his brothers stood around looking Irish.   And speaking of Irish, when ACS breaks down my door over these photos, you can blame those same brothers, for it will be because of this photo:   That’s all.  I’ve been IV’ed for seven hours now and am slowly coming back up to speed.  Surrounded by utterly bizarre family drama.  Seriously, once I know what’s happening with school I’ll start being a blogger again, with opinions and shit (an “advocate,” even!), for now I’m just one of those family-pic-posting diary-chicks. Love me anyway.  

Kant Attack AdThanks to Gillen for this one…

My kid is doing commercials now, and may be doing a bit of acting.  So the whole “I won’t show her on the blog” thing seems a bit moot.  She’s got three commercials for Love Nico T-shirts up on YouTube, and I strongly suggest you check them out.  They’re–wait for it–awesome.   Here’s the first one–click on the window to see two more at YouTube. LoveNico T-shirts for Sale #1   In other news, everyone is in weird health, particularly the taller of my two men.  Both the grownup and the baby man, however, have been tentatively diagnosed with strange “syndromes,” which is about all I can say as I haven’t quite processed it all yet. In other news still, the Waif home has been invaded by a lovely gray-and-white charmer who has thrown us all out of kilter.     That will be all you hear from me until I organize and submit all of this semester’s back-work to my university and find out what I’ve passed and how lack-lusterly, and get myself into classes again next year.Unless my sister makes good on her threat to rent a Virgin Mary costume for a photo shoot starring me and the little guy.  In which case a Christmas-Day post will be in order. 

  The waif is now shorn.  Pictures to come, in this space. Confidential, for R.  It’s a grief thing.  I miss you.